Im learning a lot of hard lessons about myself. Parenting has stretched me more than I ever imagined was possible and adopting has crushed any belief I may have had about being a good mother. With #4 on the way I am nothing but scared. I feel like such a failure already that adding another life into the mix (that I am responsible to shape and mold) is a completely overwhelming thought. I knew I was never the stay at home mom type but I am learning that I am even more selfish than I thought. In the back of my mind I was counting down the moments until our nest was empty and then the news hit that we were starting all over and had to add at least 4 more years to any of our child free vacation plans. I was looking forward to going back to work while the kids were in school and having regular adult conversations again.
But God has other plans for me, as He so often does.
Apparently He wants this precious little one on planet earth and has chosen our family to be the home “it” is raised in. I don’t know why but if there is one thing I’ve learned along the way it’s that God knows better than I do. So here we go… baby #4 is due in late December. News as to gender will be posted as soon as we know, likely in mid August. Pray for a boy or start praying for my sanity now if its another girl 🙂