Extraordinary Woman Interview #4: Dr. Dulce Dudley

Today’s interview is with my friend and former pediatrician (for my kids) in Naples, Florida. She is a sassy woman that lives securely in who she is and what she was made to do. I loved hearing the back story of her life and Im sure you will too! She is a great resource for not just your medical questions but behavioral and parenting techniques. Despite the fact that my kids deleted a portion of our interview she gave me plenty of material to provide you with a challenging and entertaining video for you to watch for the next 20 minutes. Sit back, relax and be prepared to laugh!

Don’t Miss Christmas

I distinctly remember a conversation I had a few years ago with a friend where she casually asked me how my Christmas was. I confessed to her that I missed Christmas that year. I LOVE being in ministry and feel called to devote my life to it but its no secret that this calling comes with some sacrifice and sometimes family and holiday season warm fuzzies are among the few things we miss out on. In the hustle and bustle of gift buying, Christmas parties, program rehearsals, service rehearsals, ministry functions, school events, service opportunities etc the whole Christmas season blew right on past me. This year I am determined to not let that happen. Sure our schedule is still hectic and probably not as nostalgic as your holiday might be but we are creative enough to find ways to make it our own and cherish every minute we have together.

Its seems that Someone upstairs supports my attempt at “focusing in” this Christmas b/c our church just started a sermon series that shatters the cartoon image we have of the nativity scene and teaches us the nitty gritty of the Savior’s birth, which I am loving the depth of! One of our pastors, Greg Kirksey, taught this past week about how the wise men came all the way from the east (a journey that takes years by foot) seeking the Savior when they were told of His birth. When they arrived in Jerusalem (a suburb of Bethlehem) and asked for directions to the newborn King the people, 10 minutes away from the stable He was born in, had no idea who they were referring to. Then the other day I read a devotional titled “Missing Christmas.” In the devo they wrote, “In Scripture, many others missed Christmas too. We are told that Bethlehem was sleeping, Herod was jealous and afraid, and the religious leaders were busy and filled with unbelief. But many people didn’t miss Christmas: the shepherds, the magi, Anna, and Simeon, Why? Because they were still, they were listening, and they were waiting for Him.”

Sometimes thats how Christmas can feel to me: I am in the services, singing the songs, donating the items but am I seeking? Am I missing HIM in the midst of my busyness just like the religious leaders of Jesus’ time? Well not this year. This Christmas I am waiting, anticipating, seeking and celebrating the humble birth of my Redeemer those many years ago. This moment in history changed my life forever and this year I want to remember.

Exercising Gratitude

I have been a little nostalgic about this holiday season as I remember where I was both physically and emotionally last year. Thanksgiving is tomorrow and its one of the American traditions that connects family and food for the purpose of being grateful for the blessings in your life.

In 2010 Nathan and I celebrated this day of thanks in a “mall” food court in the city of Kampala, Uganda. We were there as part of the process in adopting our youngest daughter. You might think we were away from family, but over the course of this past year I have learned a great deal about what “family” really means. Like Dr. Russell Moore says in his book Adopted For Life,  ”You are indeed designed to love ‘your own flesh and blood,’ but your design is redeemed in Christ to see as your flesh and blood those whom you previously didn’t recognize as such.” So looking back at it now, no we weren’t celebrating Thanksgiving alone. We were definitely with family.

While we were in Uganda we made many friendships that I believe will last a lifetime. When we arrived there were two American families from the same adoption agency in country so we naturally grafted ourselves into spending time with them. But after they headed back to the U.S. we spent the majority of our time with a woman from Wales, U.K. also in Uganda adopting a girl from the same orphanage as our daughter was from. Her name is Natasha. If you read our journey while in country you have heard that name MANY times as we became quite dependent on each other as we all walked the crazy road of adoption in Uganda. She and her daughter became family. Sure we were only together for a few weeks but most days felt like years as we waited for each step in our process to be taken so we could all return home. The four and a half weeks we spent in Africa was probably the most vulnerable time of our lives as well. We were emotional wrecks so our new friends weren’t getting the best of what Nathan and I had to offer. But they loved us anyway. They helped us to laugh and were there when we needed to cry. They helped us to see that even though we were far from home, family was very near indeed.

On Thanksgiving last year we invited Natasha and her daughter to celebrate life’s blessings with us. We told them it was a day of feasting so when they got to our apartment they handed us a gift- a bag of microwave popcorn. It was so sweet I started to cry. Being that Thanksgiving isn’t a British holiday, we showed them our American tradition by ordering a bunch of food at the mall food court and chowing down. We asked around the table what was one thing we were thankful for and we all shared our gratitude for God’s gifts in our lives. Its safe to say we taught these Welsh ladies well.

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This year I look back on those memories and my heart warms at the family we made while in Uganda. Not only were we finally united with our daughter but we got to have fellowship with my sister Natasha and my niece Lutaaya. I wish they could hop “over the pond” this year and sit at our table again as we feast and exercise gratitude again. I could never express how thankful I am for the way they carried me through our time in Uganda. They, along with so many prayers from our American family and friends, are what is on the forefront of my mind and heart today as I reflect on how blessed I am. Certainly it is well beyond what I deserve.

Happy Thanksgiving everyone!

Extraordinary Woman Interview #3: Auny Gill

Ministry doesn’t have to be boring! At least that is what I see from the extraordinary life my friend Auny Gill is living. She is married and assistant to Brock Gill the Christian illusionist. They live out their lives and marriage on the road most of the time and get to see God at work all across the country. After spending some time with her via skype, and a few days later at a show they did at our church, I was reminded of the line from Narnia that teaches us God is not safe, But He is good. Settle in for another adventure featuring Extraordinary Woman: Auny Gill.

GIVEAWAY: After watching the interview, post a comment by Friday OCT 28th 11:59 pm CST for a chance to win Brock’s DVD ALIVE ON STAGE which features many of his illusions, stunts and more. I will draw a name at random and some lucky viewer will get the DVD sent to them!

Extraordinary Women Interview #2: Mary Beth Picker

Today I present to you the specialness of my friend Mary Beth. She is a believer, wife, mom, friend, and so on and so on. Yet somehow she manages to save the world in her spare time. I hope you will better understand the impact of the individual as God has proclaimed through her story. Sometimes we all just need to ask ourselves, “how much more can I do?” Mary Beth has learned that she can always do just a little bit more. Read her story in blog format at www.caseypicker.com.

Once again I apologize for my lack of tech savvy-ness and our faces being cut off the entire time but I am working out the kinks as I go.

Extraordinary Women Interview #1: Shelia Mullican

Well folks here it is! I was recently challenged by the idea of doing a blog series based on interviews I conduct over Skype. Keep in mind the video quality is not professional, but the sound is great and its the words that matter most in the end anyway! I promise that you cannot walk away from time talking to these women without being changed for the better. So grab your coffee/tea and settle in for a time of reflection and refreshment via this time. Enjoy!

 

Aspen meet Ethiopia

Today I am doing a guest post by my dear friend Mary Beth Picker! She and I were connected through our social worker as newly adoptive mom’s in the Little Rock area but little did I know how special her friendship would become in such a short amount of time. I had the privilege of spending 6 kid-free hours with Mary Beth as we drove to Nashville, TN for a conference, during which she shared with me about her passion for Ethiopia and the school they have helped build there. They are entering into a new phase of development needs at the school and I offered to let her use my blog to share with you all that God is doing in Adami Tulu and how YOU can be a part of it!

 

Thank you so much Bethany for allowing me to post on your blog about a subject that is so important to me.
Over three years ago, my husband and I began our journey to adopt our son from Ethiopia. And since that time, God has been filling our hearts with an overwhelming love and passion for the people of Ethiopia. We returned a year after our first adoption to bring our daughter home. After arriving home with her, we knew we had to do more.
We have been so blessed to team up with other adoptive families around the U.S. and with Lifesong for Orphans. Lifesong is doing some amazing work through a small nursery school that they support in Adami Tulu, Ethioipa. You can read more about Adami Tulu here.
Last year, we, with five other families, raised over $40,000 to build a new building, restroom facility, and gate at the Adami Tulu school. In August, we got to return to Ethiopia to see the new building. We had an amazing trip, and have absolutely fallen in love with Adami Tulu. You can read more about our trip here and here. The school is changing the lives of so many vulnerable children in the area by offering them a wonderful education and two nutritious meals a day.
We’ve returned home with the knowledge that we have so much more to do in Adami Tulu. So we’ve agreed to continue our work with Lifesong by raising funds for another school building on the Adami Tulu campus. This will enable the school to expand to include 1st and 2nd grade. More details will be coming soon, but we’re anxious to get a jump start on fundraising. We know that this project will cost at least $50,000. But, for these sweet faces, we’ll do anything!

We are very excited to announce our first fundraiser for our next phase of the Adami Tulu project: another Aspen Giveaway!

Our Aunt and Uncle have, once again, generously donated toward our fundraising efforts. Only this time they’ve offered us not one but FIVE stays at the Hyatt Grand Aspen.

Empowered to Connect

This weekend I took some time away from our family to attend a 2 day conference in Nashville, TN. It was sponsored by one of my favorite organizations SHOW HOPE and the main speaker was Dr. Karyn Purvis, author of THE CONNECTED CHILD.

CONFESSION ALERT: I had read that book prior to going to Uganda to be with Jaydn and to be honest, I thought it was too “touchy feely” for my personality type. Here is a little known fact about me: I am a cuddly person (hugs/kisses etc) but there are times I lack compassion (sympathy/grace). My poor husband sees this side of me the most. For example, if he has a headache I respond with rolling my eyes and suggesting he drink more water rather than offering to rub his temples or having him lay down and get some rest. So to read a book that was telling me I needed to approach my children with a more compassion-based parenting style, I quickly dismissed a lot of the principles. I didn’t negate it completely but like some people do with the Bible, I picked out what I wanted and left the rest for those “other” types. So how did I go from feeling this way about a book and then attending a conference centered around the very author that made these uncomfortable suggestions?

My friend Mary Beth sent me the information about the conference and said she would be going and invited me to join her. I saw on the website that Dr. Purvis would be the main speaker but there were other names on the list and the mission statement drew me in: Equipping families, churches and professionals to bring hope and healing to adopted and foster children. Because I consider myself not only as an adoptive mom but as an orphan advocate, I felt assured I would walk away with something worth while. Plus I was excited about going on a road trip to one of my favorite places: Nashville. So I registered, made arrangements and attended the conference.

I was quite hesitant to open my mind in the beginning and obviously God knew that so He broke my heart. Within 10 minutes of being in the room and during the welcome speech of Dan and Terri Coley, I started to cry. Never before had I been in a room full of people who understood what I was experiencing in my home or people that at least were taking the time to learn about the experiences of adoptive/foster families for the sake of supporting those groups in their church. The floodgate opened and I didn’t feel alone, isolated or as if something was wrong with me for the first time in 10 months. I was surrounded by family.

From the first welcome to the last goodbye, each day and session were jam packed with resources, encouragement, challenges, wisdom, tools, testimonies, scientific data, video clips etc. that will make me a better mother if I let them. It all gave me a renewed sense of purpose, not just in Jaydn’s life but in the complete outlook and goals set for our home. I feel both completely overwhelmed and completely inspired about what can take place on the road ahead of me as I implement these holistic strategies and relationship building techniques of connecting to the heart of my 3 children.

I will have more posts about specific things I learned in the future but I had to get out there that this conference will be put on again so if you can get to one of them, GO! You can find information about that on the Empowered to Connect website linked here.

Hospitality

Here is a post I wrote a LONG time ago but has resurfaced just in time to remind me of what matters most.

 

Originally posted SEPTEMBER 25th, 2005:

At first, the word “hospitality” might evoke the image of soft sweet kindness, dinner parties, bland conversations and a general atmosphere of coziness. This has its good reasons since in our culture the concept of hospitality has lost much of its power and is often used in circles where we are more prone to expect a watered down piety than a serious search for an authentic connection. But I have seen that everyone is searching for a hospitable place where life can be lived without fear and where community can be found. Sometimes that search can be painful.

The point then is to offer an open and hospitable place where strangers can cast off their strangeness and become fellow human beings. We should be creating a free and fearless space where brotherhood and sisterhood can be formed and fully experienced.

For those Christians that might be reading this, examples can be found all throughout the Bible. (Genesis 18:1-15; 1 Kings 17:9-24; Luke 24:13-35) Old and New Testament stories not only show us how serious our obligation is to welcome the stranger in our home, but they also tell us that guests are carrying precious gifts with them, which they are eager to reveal to a receptive host. Within the context of hospitality guest and host can reveal their most precious gifts and bring new life to each other.

Hospitality is a concept worth restoring to its original depth and evocative potential. This richness in virtue could deepen and broaden our insight in our relationships to our fellow human beings.

What Cinderella CAN teach us

I was never the fairy tale type. I didn’t dream of being a princess or wearing gowns and heels and certainly not make-up. I wasn’t wishing on a star for my prince to come as soon as possible as if life didn’t exist until he arrived. But for some reason God has gifted me with a VERY girly daughter in Jovie. She loves that stuff. So while I won’t allow the pink to take over her room, I do not deny all her contact with the fairy tale stories. Needless to say, I have always seen the Cinderella idea as an unrealistic interpretation of a girl finding her soul mate. Especially when there are godmothers, carriages and balls involved. But last night as I was reading to Jovie a version of the Cinderella story, I was caught off guard by the truths I saw in there for the first time. Tomboys bear with me here and girly girls, listen up!

Ok so Cinderella wanted to go to the ball right? But she couldn’t. Regardless of whether it was right of her stepmom to keep her, she didn’t go. But “fate” or whatever you want to call it, stepped in and she managed to meet the prince anyway. So lesson #1 ladies is this: Trust that if there is a prince in your story, eventually your path will lead you to him- or him to you. You don’t have to force it, manipulate it, create it- if its right, it will be there.

Next thing I noticed was that the fairy godmother gave her some strict rules: “Be back by midnight or else!” While at the ball, even though Cinderella was having a great time and hitting it off with the prince she kept aware of the time and did what? SHE LEFT THE BALL!! She was mid dance with the man of her dreams and still followed the rules set out for her. She left the ol’ prince in the dust and made a mad dash toward home. Im sure she had some conflicting feelings about this but in the end she made the right choice. This leaves enough room for me to think that even though she didn’t know how or when, she trusted she would meet her prince again and could patiently wait for it. So lesson #2: Rules are boundaries that keep you safe and protect you. It isn’t necessary to break them to get what you want. Trust that what you need will come.

Lastly, Cinderella didn’t go find the prince even though she knew where he lived. Im sure she was wondering if her dreams really would come true but she wasn’t going to go to such great lengths to force them into realization either. She knew that if it was mean’t to be, it would be. She left her love story to “chance” and waited to see how it would be written. In her case, the prince knew a good thing when he saw it. He didn’t move on to the next ball gown on the dance floor, he pursued Cinderella. Something about a girl with the integrity to follow the rules of her godmother was attractive to him- imagine that. Now how is a prince supposed to pursue a girl that never gets out of his face and is begging for his attention? The princely type prefer those that are worth working for and will search until the RIGHT one is found (not the one RIGHT THERE). There was only one girl he wanted and he was willing to do what it took to find the right girl-only if the shoe fits! So lesson #3 ladies is this: Don’t be the one chasing the boy, let him find you. Do life as normal until he makes the effort to woo your heart into a life with him. If he can’t wait then he’s not worth it. When he finds you, he will have a greater appreciation for what he has b/c he had to work for it. This doesn’t mean girls should play games-thats manipulation and defeats the purpose.

Remember you are NOT desperate and stop trying to shove your foot into every man’s glass slipper trying to convince him that you are the princess he is looking for. The right one will find you, don’t worry. If he doesn’t, then you will always have all your little mice friends.